Are you still single?

Don't you hate that question! Then you say, "Yes" and it's usually followed by a suspicious look followed by the question "why?" AWKWARD!

Well, how do you respond, wait..I already know...you hem and haw and then finally just give them some BS excuse just to move the conversation along to another subject...fast.

So, between you and me....what is the answer? What seems to be keeping you from being in a loving and healthy relationship? Well, that is exactly why I wrote the book Stop Being a Bitch ad Get a Boyfriend....so you can finally get to the bottom of why a relationship eludes you. Here is an excerpt from the chapter called

Insecure Bitch

Coming soon to a theatre near you…

A horror story of epic proportions! When a beautiful girl with winning qualities is bitten by a mutant bug it plants a parasite in her brain. This particularly terrifying parasite eats away at the brain of the poor unsuspecting girl, and worse: the only way to keep the parasite from eating her alive is to feed it compliments and validation from poor, unfortunate, unsuspecting humans. The infected girl tries as hard as she can to avoid feeding on her friends and boyfriend, but before long, the parasite (more commonly known as insecurity) is growing and growing and GROWING! And as the insecurity grows, it gets HUNGRIER! The once wonderful girl is quickly transformed into a practically unrecognizable creature! BEWARE! It’s the Insecure Bitch! She’s running loose, and she’s taking her friends and boyfriend hostage! She’s feeding on their compliments and validation, and it won’t be long before she’s hungry for more! Her victims, meanwhile, are running scared!

YIKES! Unfortunately, for many girls, this is more than just a movie—it’s real life. Could this crazed creature be you?

My new book Stop Being a Bitch and Get a Boyfriend is available on Amazon

6 Surprising Libido Boosters

I found this today on CNN and thought you might enjoy this news!(Health.com) -- You've heard (and tried) it all before: down a dozen oysters, watch a marathon of sultry movies, get a couples massage.

Even if these usual turn-ons work for you, sooner or later they start to feel tired -- which may make you less likely to respond to them, says Irwin Goldstein, M.D., director of sexual medicine at Alvarado Hospital in San Diego.

Luckily, science has discovered a few more offbeat things that crank up your desire. Try one out tonight!

Scare yourself

Consider taking a surfing lesson together instead of a romantic walk on the beach. After being in an adrenaline-pumping situation (say, watching a suspenseful flick or going zip-lining), men and women find the opposite sex more alluring, suggests a study in the "Archives of Sexual Behavior."

"When you're doing something exciting, your heart is racing and your nervous system is activated, much like they would be if you were sexually aroused," explains Cindy Meston, Ph.D., the study's lead researcher and co-author of "Why Women Have Sex." Just don't use up all your energy riding the waves!

Health.com: The secret to hotter sex

Swap bubbly for red wine

Romantic dinner? Order a glass of Pinot Noir or other red wine: Women who drank a glass of red daily reported higher levels of sexual desire and vaginal lubrication, compared with those who sipped any kind of alcohol only occasionally or those who didn't drink at all, according to a study in the "Journal of Sexual Medicine."

Researchers suspect that red wine's high levels of polyphenols, a type of antioxidant, may help blood vessels widen, which can increase blood flow to key arousal areas. Stick to one glass, advises lead author Nicola Mondaini, M.D.; any more may extinguish your libido.

Health.com: 7 foods for better sex

Be a poser

Yoga does more than just get you limber -- it may boost your libido, too, suggests a review published in the "Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy." Getting your om on makes you more familiar with your body, which in turn can help you get more in touch with your sexuality.

While the report looked predominantly at women with sexual problems, "certainly anyone can benefit," says Lori Brotto, Ph.D., the lead author. Bonus: Yoga may also improve your orgasms by increasing blood flow down there.

Health.com: 10 best workouts for your sex life

Get hands-on

Locking fingers with your sweetie is, well, sweet -- but can it make you hot and bothered? Absolutely. "Even little acts of touching your partner release oxytocin, a hormone that may boost closeness and arousal," Goldstein says.

The trick is to be spontaneous, he adds. That out-of-the-blue excitement is what prompts your body to pump out oxytocin and other neurotransmitters related to sexual response, so choose unexpected times to get a little grabby.

Health.com: 28 days to a healthier relationship

See (him in) red

Turns out, your man wearing this fiery hue can put you in the mood, suggests a University of Rochester study. "Red is a signal of status and power, and that turns women on," explains psychology professor Andrew J. Elliot, Ph.D., lead author of the study.

So, crazy as it sounds, urge him to wear the red shirt on date night -- you may want to tear it off him before dessert.

Take a whiff

Chances are, the smell of a sweaty gym does not get you all worked up. But the scent of your man post-workout might do just that. Sniffing his sweat can increase your level of the stress hormone cortisol, which may boost arousal, reports a study in the Journal of Neuroscience.

Consider hitting the gym together (exercising has also been found to flip our switch), or just snuggle close when he walks in after his workout. Then hit the showers -- together.

Copyright Health Magazine 2010

Don't Online Date That Guy

First let me say, online dating is great for most people. However, the majority of my clients prefer to keep their dating life anonymous and private, therefore they don’t usually use online dating sites. As for me, I’m more like you. I work a lot, most of my friends are in relationships and I spend all day in front of the computer. So, naturally, online dating is an easy way for me to meet people whom might not normally cross my path. Unfortunately, the majority of the men I see online are men I would rather NOT ever cross paths with online or off.

That being said, I know there are really great, marriage-minded catches out there that are using online dating sites; you just have to know how to spot the keepers.

A great way to weed through the possibilities and move you one step closer to finding your love match is by scoping out profile photos. Of course, we all use these photos to decide which men to contact. However, I’m sure many of you simply look at the photo but don’t see the whole picture. Some of these photos might seem appealing, but don’t be fooled. A photo can help you determine which guy might love himself more than he could ever love you or who might not be exactly what he seems.

Here is a list of things to look for when perusing the photos:

• Any man who is just too cute or too sexy: Avoid this guy or you will be in a long line with every other woman on the site. And he knows it! Why would a kid want to ever leave a candy store?
• Any man who has his shirt off.
• Posing and making cutesy or weird faces or just being too silly.
• Too stylish.
• Too perfect of a “headshot”: Airbrushing and Photoshop can be very deceiving.
• Too much of a bad boy.
• An overgrown kid.
• Photo resembles a mug shot or Wanted poster.
• Any man who has 10, 12, or 20-something photos of himself.
• His screen name can be a window to his psyche as well, so be ware.

Now, that we’ve gotten that out of the way. Here is what you should be looking for when you view the photos:

• A guy with a genuine smile.
• A guy who isn’t trying too hard.
• A guy who just looks like a regular guy—not a model, not an actor, not a bad boy, or a comedian, or James Bond.
• A guy who isn’t too put together, but not disheveled either. Just simple, not flashy or too cool.
• A guy who only has two or three photos.
• A guy who’s photos might be a little out of focus, because he’s just a regular guy who isn’t that concerned with “perfect” photos.

Finally, a guy who looks too perfect or sounds too perfect is also looking for perfection in his lady. So chances are, even if you go out with him, he will be looking for any flaw and he will find it, because no one is perfect. Look for a guy who looks like a “good guy”. Going for just the shiniest object on the page will prove to be a waste of time and energy.

God Bless Him for Trying..but...

Men, please read the following email sent to a woman (as a first email) on an online dating site. I truly feel bad for him, because he sounds like a good guy. Poor guy, he's just saying waaaay too much, it's all about him, it's clear he never even read her profile and it's obviously a "cut and paste" job that he sends out to every lady. So read his email below and take heed!


"nibbling on sponge cake...watching the sun bake....

"nibbling on sponge cake...watching the sun bake...all the tourists covered with oil"...
that's me an island boy...just did a gig in Key West, Florida...singing tropical songs...
I'm Matt, my profession is an architecture, I'm a lead designer in a major LA architectural firm...
I'm what everyone calls a 'creative'. I'm a song writer, poet and artist. In fact all those three come out
in my designs. smile. I'm putting together a benefit for a horse rescue ranch...in late June so I'm working
on the song list for the evening of wine, food and music...it should be a lot of fun...talking to a lot of my musician
and singer friends to volunteer for a good cause.
Driven but easy going...strange combination...most people just view the easy going part...but a lot gets accomplished
this life is way too short to waste it. Have begun to show my paintings...just did a small show in Soho, NY. People were
great and receptive...love to paint people...very figurative in my art. Published my first two children's books last fall
and they are now available on Amazon...funny my kids had no clue I was going to do a series of tales I used to tell them as kids. They had a bang when they found dedicated the book to them...they were tickled.
I've been blessed...no other way to say it...5 gorgeous and talented grown kids...I love my work...love my hobbies...
still I want to find that special someone to explore with and live this fun life.
Have fun this week...I am.

Serendipity

Serendipity is when one finds something that one was not expecting to find.





I was talking to someone recently when (surprisingly) the subject of online dating and matchmaking came up. The person said they’d been resistant to online dating because they believed in serendipity. Well, I believe serendipity comes in many forms. Just because one puts forth the effort to meet someone, through an online dating site or a dating service or a matchmaker, if you ultimately find your soul mate in the process, then it’s still serendipity in my book.

And let’s face it, as we get older it gets more and more difficult to find that needle in a haystack. The needles get smaller, the haystack gets bigger! The people who I have known or worked with who have made up their minds and who have made it their mission to find love, have found it. There is something almost magical that I have personally witnessed when someone becomes willing to do anything and everything to find love. They find it. And usually it’s within 6 months or a year. I have seen it time and time again.

But, the key is that you have to be ready, willing and open to all of the possibilities. It might mean, improving your appearance in order to attract the type of person you want. It might mean going through therapy and working on your issues. It definitely means going to social events, doing online dating or even hiring a matchmaker. For example, have you tried Chemistry.com? It’s a more serious version of Match. And it certainly is another great resource to use if you haven’t tried it yet.
The point is, to use any and all resources available. The more you do, the better your chances are. There is also a very valid psychological part to all of this too. Once you make up your mind and commit to a process of finding love (whatever that process might be) you begin to see everything and everyone in a new way. You begin to date with a purpose, but also with more optimism and determination. And when you give anything 100% and you refuse to give up, you will always get what you want.