Monday, July 2, 2012

The Message That Never Gets Heard

Talk about frustrating. People are always asking for my advice and I love to help, but when my advice falls on deaf ears, it can be incredibly frustrating. Just imagine people armed with the advice they need, yet ignoring it completely, meanwhile continuing to get hurt over and over. 

For example: “When should I sleep with him?”  This is one of the most frequently asked questions and my answer to this question, is based on the many conversations I have had with my male clients. Ladies, do not sleep with a guy until you KNOW that you are in a REAL relationship with him. Otherwise, you run the risk of: A) Getting your feelings hurt B) Thinking he’s a player.  Women will ask me: “Is he a player?” and then they proceed to sleep with him right away! And let’s be straight with each other ladies, it’s usually us who are more of the aggressors. And the reason is this:
we think sleeping with a guy we like, will move the “relationship” along faster. And like I say in my book Stop Being a Bitch and Get a Boyfriend, we think our—Hoo Ha has magical powers and will transform that hot guy we just met, into our boyfriends. WRONG!

It doesn’t work that way. In fact, it usually causes the implosion of what could have “turned into” a relationship had you not turned into the “Needy Bitch” when you didn’t get the response you were hoping to get, when you slept with him. So, I guess, your Hoo Ha is magical in a sense, it will make him disappear!  

Even I have been surprised to hear my male clients saying: “I didn’t want to go that fast, but I felt pushed.” Yep, from you ladies. I think a guy feels like he can’t resist a woman’s advances because she'll feel rejected and he will look like less of man.

So listen, I’m telling you…WAIT until you know you are really in a relationship with a good guy who treats you right and who’s actions are consistent and dependable. Getting to know someone takes time. So why risk ruining it by rushing?


Filipino girls said...

Nice article girls should not go to sleep with a guy if they were not in a serious relationship.

Garima Pal said...


Anonymous said...

We can thank Leykis for the "3-Date Rule" i can't tell you how many men get 'upset' and feel rejected because I am not ready to have sex with a man whose middle name I don't even know and have most likely spent less than 24-combined hours with across the span of a couple of dates. It's disappointing in a way because it feels like you're getting to know one another and having fun then they shut down and move on when the next level isn't achieved. Maybe they are just 'notchers' and it's a good gage to the real intentions and maturity of someone and if my needs will really matter. I have heard from some men though they don't feel the woman is really interested if she isn't willing to move to sex by the 3rd date.
Can we please just take all of the b.s. 'rules' out of dating and focus on connection and what make the other person feel safe and happy. Seems simple yet soooo difficult in this modern dating world.