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Sunday, December 9, 2007

Basic dating do's & don’ts for men

How to avoid game playing from the beginning.
If you are on a first or second date, and you think you might be interested in seeing this person again, I suggest paying attention to signals or conversation that perhaps your date has given about things they would like to do in the future. For example, if she’s mentioned the new art exhibit that she wants to see…or a new restaurant that sounds interesting….then at the end of the date you should suggest checking it out for next time. If she says yes, then follow up by saying you’ll call mid week to figure out a plan. This let’s both of you know that you’ll being seeing each other again soon. Then make sure you call on the day you are supposed to….and no sooner. I think that calling the day after is nice, but not necessary on the first or second date. In fact, sometimes it can feel like too much to soon.
If you’ve said at the end of the date that you’ll call mid week, then call mid week—leave it at that.

Always walk her to her car and wait until she drives off

If she has her car in valet…you will score BIG bonus points if you walk her to the valet and pay the valet for her parking, she can tip.

Open doors for her and let her always go first

If she offers to pay or chip in….ALWAYS say no

Never answer your phone when on a date

Don’t try too hard

Don’t try to be funny

Be yourself

Be polite

And genuinely be interested in what she has to say

These are my opinion's based on my personal experience over the years. But, it seems I'm not alone in my opinion.
Just as I was getting ready to post my "do's and don'ts" on my blog, I came across an article on yahoo.
I've posted it below. I really agree with the part about communication. in fact, I agree with it all. Enjoy this iinteresting and helpful article.

From Yahoo.com homepage 12-9-2007

Andrea Syrtash gets the scoop from daters -- females and males -- about the top mistakes men make when they're dating. See how to avoid those mistakes

How many times have you gone on what you thought was an amazing date only to find that the person never calls back or doesn't seem interested when you try to book another date?
Dating can be awkward, and everyone makes mistakes. Of course, there are some instances in which the person you like doesn't follow up and it has nothing to do with you (e.g,. an ex comes back into her life...don't you love that?). But often it's simple things we do (or don't do) that prevent us from making a connection.
During the past few years, I've interviewed hundreds of daters and asked them what they were looking for, and it's amazing to hear the same themes. Women have certainly complained to me about the biggest mistakes they feel that men make in dating, so I thought I'd share the secrets. (Don't worry -- I have plenty of material on the mistakes women make, but that's for a future installment.)


Top Five Dating Mistakes That Men Make

1. Men Show Off or Try to Impress Too Much. Don't offer your resume, your earning potential, and tell us how you'll change our lives the first time we meet you. Instead of talking about yourself the whole night, ask questions! Don't come on too strong right away. Let us figure out if we want to be with you, instead of telling us we do.

2. Men Don't Listen to Us When We're Talking. We notice if you stop listening to us, if you ask us questions we just answered, or if you keep interrupting us when we're opening up. This drives most women nuts! Unless you're on call, don't check your Blackberry at dinner and don't check out other women. Focus on the woman across the table from you and listen to what she has to say.

3. Men Aren't Chivalrous. The lines here are not always clear. We want you to treat us like equals, but we also want you to treat us like women. It's nice when a man picks up the tab or makes sure his date gets home safely. It may be old-fashioned, but a number of women report that dating a gentleman matters.

4. Men Don't Take Initiative. Men, how many times have you caught yourself saying, "I don't know" or "Whatever you'd like" when planning a date? If you've asked a woman out, a better approach is to give a few fun and creative date options and ask her to pick one.
Initiative doesn't mean ordering for a woman at a restaurant or ordering a woman around! It does mean confidently approaching your date with ideas, passion and interest. It also means you can be flirty and forward, letting her know how amazing you think she looks or how much you want to kiss her.

5. Men Say They'll Call and Then Don't. It's no surprise that acting like you're going to follow up when you're not bothers most women (and never underestimate the way word travels about you not keeping your word!). Better to end a date by saying, "It was nice to meet you. Have a good night." Don't act like you're going to follow up if you're not. If you've gone out more than a few times, be honest that while you enjoy your date's company, you don't feel a romantic connection.

Just remember, communication is usually the way to go with a woman.
There are always exceptions, so I don't believe there are absolute rights and wrongs in dating -- but there are strategies. If you follow these simple steps, you'll be ahead in the dating game. At least you'll get an 'A' for effort.


About Gina
Gina is the owner of Selective and Single, a Los Angeles based personal matchmaking service specializing in individual needs for an upscale affluent clientele. If you have any questions you would like to ask Gina, feel free to email her at info@selectiveandsingle.com or to get more info on Selective and Single go to http://www.selectiveandsingle.com

9 comments:

Chris said...

What are some examples of good activities for a first or second date? What's a reasonable amount to spend on one of the first couple dates?

Say I bought a pair of fairly expensive tickets to a concert I really wanted to go to. Would that be okay for a first or second date, or is that too much pressure? I've heard some women might be turned off because her date would expect more from them because of they've spent so much on them, but I just want to take someone to a cool concert.

Gina said...

Well, I highly recommend doing interesting and unique activities on any date. First, second, third...whatever. I think having fun on the date is the key to igniting the sparks. So always choose something great and big over small and simple.
And I don't know any girl who would turn down a Rolling Stones concert because they would rather keep it simple and go for a walk in the park on a first or second date. ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz
Now, as far as a reasonable amount to spend....that is up to you. It really all depends on your comfort and income level. If you have no money....then you don't have it to spend. You'll need to get a bit more creative...like an art show opening, happy hour or daytime movie. Art show openings are great, because they always have free wine and interesting art (and they're free). If you do some looking, you can even find many art openings on the same night.
If you make a good income and can spend the money, then do. But, if it will stress you out, then don't....it's that simple!

Anonymous said...

well ...thanks for tips ....

for my second date, I am planning to give a surprise in the evening when she finishes her work and take her to a nice restaurant and present her with a gift...since we stay in two different cities, i thought it may be one of the ideas...

plz guide me

Michael

Gina said...

Michael-

Your question requires further discussion. I need a few more details regarding your situation with this girl.
Please email me at info@selectiveandsingle.com
That way I can email you back with the correct advice.
As it stands now, I don't have your email. I look forward to hearing from you!

Gina

Mark said...

Im going on a second date with a very high class women. This woman is a ex opera singer and is used to a higher lifestlye than I live. Im just a Baker trying to make a living. Our first date was with a mutual friend who introduced us. We started out at dinner, but really didn't start connecting until we got to the local bar. How do I show a real classy lady and great time on a low wage budget???? I really like this women and for some reason she is into me as well. I don't want to come off sounding cheap, or make a mistake by trying to go budget, or asking her to help pay.

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African Girls said...

Great helpful tips again. It is really amazing to share some insights based on experience. As we all know experience is the best teacher right?
I do agree with you that communication really matters specially when you are planning your date. Dating is fun when both of you is enjoying each company. By the way I know women likes a guy with sense of humor like they know when to joke around and when to talk seriously. In my case, I don't like to talk to a man who is a serious-type I feel bored. I don't know for some but for me a man who is really funny matters.

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